At last, the television program we’ve all been waiting for our whole lives: the one in which Teen Choice Award winner Selena Gomez exchanges dialogue with Tony Award winner Martin Short and honorary Oscar winner Steve Martin. It’s Hulu’s latest, Only Murders in the Building, and it opens in the same way every show and movie opens now: in the very-near future! Mind-blowing, right? Who would have thought? Men with guns and baseball caps run through the hallways of a decadent prewar Upper West Side apartment building. Meanwhile, Steve Martin and Martin Short run through a different part of the prewar Upper West Side apartment building while Short screams, “Oh my God, oh my God,” like a true-crime queen. When they enter the apartment unit, Selena Gomez is on the floor hovering over a body. Her lush white turtleneck is covered in blood. She’s wearing shiny hoop earrings. “It’s not what you think,” she says.
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The story then flashes to two months before Selena Gomez seemingly becomes a murderer, and introduces our little cast of misfits with shots of them walking in New York City, which is a great way to instantly understand anyone’s personality. Charles (Steve Martin) wears a little hat (I will mention this little hat often, you’ve been warned) and talks to tourists long enough to get roped into taking a picture of them. Oliver (Martin Short) wears a royal-blue coat with a purple scarf and screams at cars. Mabel (Selena Gomez) walks confidently in the middle of the sidewalk in a furry yellow coat, as if the city is exclusively hers.